Yoctangee Park Proud to Introduce First Transgender Oak Tree

Park officials will be hosting a celebration next Friday to announce the first ever transgender oak tree.

“This is a big deal for our quaint little park.” Said Debra Hughes who is a parks and rec employee.

Otto Oak, now Samantha Spruce, will take center stage during the celebration to discuss her struggle throughout her transformation.

“I always knew I was different.” Said Samantha during an exclusive sit down interview. “My dad was an oak, my grandparents were actually transplants from the Adena Mansion. So all my life I’ve lived with this pressure of being an oak, when deep down I knew I felt more comfortable as a spruce.”

Most of her surrounding friends and neighbors have rallied behind Samantha. Saying that she is a beacon of hope for those who feel different. There are those however who don’t feel the same way.

“It ain’t right, I tell ya.” Proclaimed Billybob Bush. “You are what you are. I mean, we are messing up Mother Nature’s design! Pretty soon the ducks will start thinking they can put their bills in anything! Ain’t no way my son is gonna be with a duck.”

Sonya Spruce, a nominee for “Spruce of the year” is also one of protestors.

“There are rumors that…”it” might be considered for “Spruce of the Year”. That’s soooo stupid!” Barked Sonya. “He can’t just change his name and leaves and think he can get the award. He still has nuts! Ew! I mean yeah the award is trivial and doesn’t mean much, but I’ve dreamed about this since I was a sapling and I’ll be damned if “Samantha” gets the spotlight!”

With all the publicity, we here at the beacon promote the well-being of Samantha Spruce. No matter what path you’re on, it’s never too late to uproot and start on a new one.

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