An innocent typo on promotional material for tonight’s Party on Paint event has caused a controversial misunderstanding which could come to a head, or lack thereof, tonight.
“We’re just as excited as hell to attend the Party on Taint[sic] tonight,” says Cathy, leader of the regional lesbian biker group “The Muff Riders.”
Crotch Rocket Cathy, as she’s known in the club, mistakenly believes tonight’s party in front of the courthouse will be a lesbian festival of sorts.
“We were pretty disappointed and confused when we showed up to that “Taste of Chillicothe” thing a while back, but me and the girls figure there ain’t no way we’ve got this one mixed up.”
Local conservative group “Bibles, Not Boobies” has caught wind of the biker gang’s attendance and will be hosting a protest on the courthouse steps.
“Not in my town!” spokesperson Susan Banderwood told us. “First they came in with satanic music from that Six to Noon band… I know what you’re rockin’ with that wagon wheel mister, and it isn’t God’s word!”
Local gender-equality activist Sonya Spruce, recently coming out as Yoctangee Park’s first transgender tree, will be holding a counter-protest to block the Bibles, Not Boobies group.
We asked for commentary from Sonya but were met with silence because, well, she’s a tree.
Crotch Rocket Cathy and rest of the The Muff Riders are undeterred by the growing uproar over their attendance.
“Sounds like little Susie Biblethumper needs to get laid,” Cathy told us. “Our taints are gonna be partyin’ tonight with everyone else whether she like’s it or not!”