“Chillicothe to erect 300ft statue of Tyler Childers leaning against the Mead Smokestack all badass-like”

On Monday, City Council and other officials came to a vote to add a giant 300ft statue of country music star, Tyler Childers, within the city.

“We decided instead of spending money on mundane things like paving the roads, faulty traffic lights, uneven sidewalks, blah blah blah. We thought people’s tax dollars would be better well spent erecting a giant statue of Tyler Childers leaning against the smokestack looking like a total badass.” Said City Planner, Hugh G. Rection.

Tyler Childers, who just recently released his album “Country Squire”, wrote about his time within the city on the title track. The local populace got the chance to listen to Tyler before he made it big at local bars in the surrounding area.

The statue, which has already begun construction, has been the talk of the town.

“Finally something good can come from my mom’s tax dollars.” Said basement Twitch streamer, Jimmy Lowlife. 

“I would give half my paycheck to make sure the statue is kept in pristine condition. Tyler is a beacon of hope. Hope that the my Yeti cooler is always filled with Busch Lattes and Slim Jims.” Said local Harley owner, Boyd Cummins.


Citizens from all walks of life have begun to stream the album at an alarming rate. Saying this is the best thing to happen to Chillicothe since that time Bill Clinton came back to town to retrieve his lost wallet.


“We have many churches here.” Began local zealot, Ziggy Zeitgeist. “A lot of denomantions and crees. But I believe that Tyler Childers is now our new true God and that “Country Squire” is our Bible. PRAISE BE TO HIM AHHHH!” Quickly afterwards, Zeitgeist bursted into flames and was ascended towards the heavens.


Construction will continue throughout the summer and the statues completion date is to be estimated to be done in the late winter.
 

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.