Mean Gene’s Revenge – Our lead journalist and mysterious figure Mean Gene has been with us since his death years ago. Mean Gene didn’t like people much when he was alive, but after his death he learned he had a passion for the news. Now he tells it like it is, simply reporting the news as we receive it. We sometimes believe Mean Gene may be a combination of different entities projected as one.
Hank Spankler – A best-selling author in Massieville, with his breakthrough novel Forlorned Goddess of the Ghetto: The Diary of Crackhead Debbie, Hank writes with an artistic and elaborative prose. Hank’s other hobbies include funneling alcohol into his system at all hours, chain smoking cigarettes, and the occasional 30-minute visit at the Chillicothe Inn.
Cornelius Pepperwood – Cornelius is one of our journalists on the scene. He reports news on city planning, crime, and any other news of note that are important to citizens of Chillicothe.
Randy Flinger – Randy doesn’t think of reporting as a job but as a duty. He hopes you read the last word in the last sentence as “doody.” Mr. Flinger is also quite the philanthropist. His most notable project being a support home for divorced women with children known as Milf House Outreach.
We also accept guest writers! If you would like to submit a headline or article, send our staff an email at firstname.lastname@example.org! Make sure to tell us what we should list as your totally real, definitely not fake name!