Bar Scene Regular to Receive Award for Outstanding Pickup Lines

By Randy Flinger

On any crowded Saturday night at local watering hole The Dock at Water you’ll see him. Making his rounds and laying it on thick, Alex Mac is a real smooth talker. Met mostly with eye rolls, he is ever undaunted and always ready to dish out a spectacular pickup line.

“Where you going? My place is back that way!” Alex yelled at a smiling passer by. “Everyone likes attention, and I have so much to give. Hey, girl. Are you a cop? Because I want you to put me in handcuffs.”

It’s this kind of word smithing that has Alex nominated for an award known as a Schmoozie presented by Axe body spray. When asked for his secret to way too much confidence, Alex had this to say.

“I’ve really got to hand it to the ladies around here. Without their awkward blushing smiles I wouldn’t have faith in what I do.” Alex smirked as he scanned the room. “Hey, girl. You remind me of a stroller. I want to put a kid in you and take you around town.” This guy is too much and I’m starting to be embarrassed just for standing next to him.

“There’s a lot of talent here at The Dock and later I’m gonna head over to Steiner’s. They have the best cleavage in town.” That’s exactly what happened.

“Damn, lady. You are just a lake in heaven because I’d die to motor boat you.”

I threw up a little bit and watched him move on to next woman. “Hey, sexy. Would you like to be a beautiful garden? I can get you started by plowing you tonight.”

He’s got heart. That’s for sure.

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