Cat owners unite over dog park snub


While the new dog park in town is bringing joy to many Chillicothe pet owners, there remains a faction of that population that goes unsatisfied. Cat owners are feeling the sting of injustice as dogs are given special treatment. These feline types have taken to the internet and launched a rabble rousing campaign to blast this great new edition to town and its users alike. God knows they aren’t gonna leave the house. 

Talks of a cat park haven’t made it very far as the idea itself is nonsense. 

“You’d just end up with a catnip field full of strays.” Says one citizen, dismissive of the idea.

“Isn’t a cat park just a junk yard?” Said another.

It’s unclear what the disgruntled shut in cat owners want. Felix Fluffer has been front and center of the grumpy cat movement since the beginning and we asked him what the end game would be. 

“Well obviously our sweet cats have been spat upon by the establishment that is clearly in favor of dogs.” He says as if giving a speech. “Cats are not second class pets! We will not stand by and watch our lovely playful friends be trampled! To answer your question, we don’t know what we want besides some attention because we really don’t get any.”

As sad as that sounds, it’s understandable. Scooping cat shit for days on end waiting for your next issue of cat fancy is not the most glamorous existence. Now, led by Felix, the local cat owners have banded together and organized a group to bring awareness to the awesomeness of cats. 

People United Serving Sweet Cats better known as PUSS-C has accumulated a large following and is actually doing some good. Awareness of cat issues is at an all time high and this huge network of cat owners has created a strong caring community so they won’t be so lonely. We reached out to Felix again for comment on this development. He had just a few wise words.

“You all can keep your fancy dog park. All I need is PUSS-C.”

Well said.

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